you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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