so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
