so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
