Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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