Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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