I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
