So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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