You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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