Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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