I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
