So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
