Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
