Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
