Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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