David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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