We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize