youre lurking in front of me
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
