I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize
