I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize