i'm signing you up for texting rehab
farters have to be the big spoon...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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