Pappa wants mamma naked
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
