Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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