He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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