He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
