Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
