he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Bring me that man meat
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
