I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
