About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
