So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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