Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
