Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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