If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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