he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
