girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
how does that bad decision feel?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize