ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
