grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize