is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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