But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
