can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
