We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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