I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
