no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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