would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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