So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
