i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
