Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
