Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
how drunk are you?
Several
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize