rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize