he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
