How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
