my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
