maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
