did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
