used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
