yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Reggie can tackle my bush.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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