i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
