guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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