I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
