Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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