Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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