We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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