I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
